Wednesday, May 21, 2014

Experiments talk - Why do we feel bad when asking friends for help?

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"Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art.... It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things which give value to survival" C. S. Lewis

In the last few days I got thinking about the fact that as we age we tend to create some walls around ourselves that tend to grow bigger and stronger with every year. As much as we take pride in being open and honest with our closest friends, it seems so hard in the same time to ask them for help.

I have a friend that needs a bit of support in this period of time and I always feel that she is not very comfortable in asking for it. Don't image that I am doing anything extraordinary, for me it's is actually nothing, but for her it looks like some effort is being put out.

As we age, as we build our fences high, we find it harder to ask and even sometimes accept help from our friends, even if we need it - we feel guilty about it. I wonder why? I can't help but think that times used to be easier before, relations were closer, hearts were more open. 

I am speaking for myself here as well, sometimes I have a hard time in asking for help. Why do me/you find it difficult to open up and be ourselves more? We might risk getting hurt? I honestly think we risk getting hurt in every situation. We might actually feel freer and better with ourselves if we open up, if we let ourselves share our thoughts, our love with our friends and even ask for their help with feeling joy and not pressure. 

Are we changing that much and protecting ourselves more and more? Are we afraid of the exterior world so much? I will leave this as an open question for all of us, myself included. I think the answers will vary in time, and each year we will find ourselves in different position.
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