Tuesday, February 11, 2014

3 thoughts on relationships

Only 3 you ask?

Yes, I will limit myself to only that as at this point the whole internet is flooding with all sorts of articles related to relationships, partners, love, what to buy for valentines day, how to spend it, what to get, what lists to make - you name it, everything is out there. So I am keeping things brief and simple here, not to be redundant.

We seem to be so deeply involved in the things that surround us, in our jobs, in the people that we meet, in our meetings, in our projects - trying to meet all the deadlines, trying to do a great job and be a great person, only to come home and be exhausted of all these things. And expect that our better half will not only be quiet and understand but also support, cherish, do everything we say and think...and the list goes on. I am that person, or better said - I used to be that person who is making an effort to change.

Among the many articles I saw written these days I came to think, if there were 3 things that I personally have done to have a better relationship with my husband and that I would share further as advises, these would be:

  • LISTEN - I know we generally say we do listen to our half, but do we really listen listen? I came to realize I didn't - and I have been told by people that I do, well turns out that no. How do I know that now? Well during some of our arguments I lately have noticed that we both react in a much better way when we dont point who's to blame but rather acknowledge it is a common fault and try to make steps ahead to change things. Before I would have never done that because i was quite busy in pointing to him all that I thought was wrong and never stop to listen to him or to see how he reacts - and I soon realized that in this way nothing changed, so I stopped and listened and found the best way of who to make things better.

  • ACT AS A TEAM, not as separate people. From the moment you decided to be together you are both becoming 1 team, 1 entity - you are working for the same goals. Stop for a second and think about this. When something is not happening according to your needs don't rush and put the blame but think first: what generated this action, why am I reacting in this way - which part of me is hurt, is it worth it? Answer those questions first and you will soon get to realize that half of the "problems" were nonsense. You will no longer feel the need to blame but rather stop, understand and get to know yourself better.

  • BE SUPPORTIVE as many times as it is needed, regardless of the time during the day or night. The moments of pure and unaltered happiness and the moments of when you tend to one another are the ones that truly put the bricks stronger together. Being supportive is immensely rewarding - you always see the most vulnerable part in the other that makes you love him/her even more, you are there for him offering moments to cherish and above all you are there to show him that he is not alone, he is with you! For me these are the moments when I see my husband in a way that make me fall in love even deeper and if I am able to help him even with the smallest thing I feel as if I touched heavens.
What are your advises?

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