3 thoughts on relationships

Only 3 you ask?

Yes, I will limit myself to only that as at this point the whole internet is flooding with all sorts of articles related to relationships, partners, love, what to buy for valentines day, how to spend it, what to get, what lists to make - you name it, everything is out there. So I am keeping things brief and simple here, not to be redundant.

We seem to be so deeply involved in the things that surround us, in our jobs, in the people that we meet, in our meetings, in our projects - trying to meet all the deadlines, trying to do a great job and be a great person, only to come home and be exhausted of all these things. And expect that our better half will not only be quiet and understand but also support, cherish, do everything we say and think...and the list goes on. I am that person, or better said - I used to be that person who is making an effort to change.

Among the many articles I saw written these days I came to think, if there were 3 things that I personally have done to have a better relationship with my husband and that I would share further as advises, these would be:

• LISTEN - I know we generally say we do listen to our half, but do we really listen listen? I came to realize I didn't - and I have been told by people that I do, well turns out that no. How do I know that now? Well during some of our arguments I lately have noticed that we both react in a much better way when we dont point who's to blame but rather acknowledge it is a common fault and try to make steps ahead to change things. Before I would have never done that because i was quite busy in pointing to him all that I thought was wrong and never stop to listen to him or to see how he reacts - and I soon realized that in this way nothing changed, so I stopped and listened and found the best way of who to make things better.

• ACT AS A TEAM, not as separate people. From the moment you decided to be together you are both becoming 1 team, 1 entity - you are working for the same goals. Stop for a second and think about this. When something is not happening according to your needs don't rush and put the blame but think first: what generated this action, why am I reacting in this way - which part of me is hurt, is it worth it? Answer those questions first and you will soon get to realize that half of the "problems" were nonsense. You will no longer feel the need to blame but rather stop, understand and get to know yourself better.

• BE SUPPORTIVE as many times as it is needed, regardless of the time during the day or night. The moments of pure and unaltered happiness and the moments of when you tend to one another are the ones that truly put the bricks stronger together. Being supportive is immensely rewarding - you always see the most vulnerable part in the other that makes you love him/her even more, you are there for him offering moments to cherish and above all you are there to show him that he is not alone, he is with you! For me these are the moments when I see my husband in a way that make me fall in love even deeper and if I am able to help him even with the smallest thing I feel as if I touched heavens.

What are your advises?

4 easy but reward full things you can do for yourself

I had a crazy busy week filled with many many things to do at work, travelling to Warsaw, meetings and long night hours - by Friday I was finished and all I could think of was how can I get faster to bed.

These periods make me crave to pay more attention to myself and just try to find a way to make the craziness of the outside world affect the inner one as little as possible. During the days that I am travelling I am very keen on hydrating as much as possible, eat as healthy as I can in given circumstances, try to bring the clothes that I know I love and feel good in - just those small things that make my stay away as clan and true to myself as possible. I know how easily you can forget to drink water, eat healthy when you are with lots of people dinning and talking about work - it happened to me so many times before and I always ended up feeling bad about myself. But I realized that nothing will really change unless I make those small steps to change myself - and now I am trying to be extra careful about these things.

Coming back to the point of my post, this weekend I tried to do those things that make me happy and help me reconnect  with myself  and unwind from the busy week that has finished.

For me, to feel good, happy and peaceful there are always 4 things that I do (I am very low maintenance) and they always bring me back on track:

• I try to keep my house clean - it helps me think straight, it helps me curl in my favorite places and relax - a clean house means a clear mind 

• After my house looks good and smells fresh from new flowers and from the crisp winter air, I pour myself a cup of coffee or tea and start browsing my favorite magazines and maybe even read a book. I always, but always, feel soo peaceful that I don't even remember the whirlwind of the week I had. Reading a book with coffee/tea is probably the most relaxing activity I can think of (besides a good massage that is).

• Every once in 2 weeks I meet some of my girlfriends and we go out for a treat. This weekend 3 of us met and we went to do a quick mani session and talk about things in general. It feels just so good to talk about life, about women's small pleasures, things we love, what sweater to buy, what jeans to wear etc. I know these might sound frivolous topics but trust me, after 1 week full of work - all those brainless topics are food for the soul.

Can you guess which color is mine?

• I usually try to save 15-20 minutes daily for a small "meditation" moment. I actually try to sit in peace and calm from inside. It makes me feel better, feel happier and calmer. I know meditation might sound pretentious but I cannot say enough times how important is just to keep few minutes everyday to enjoy your own company, to review what you have found new and learned during the day, what made you happy, what made you sad. Hands down, this is the best method I have found to get to know myself better and to stay connected to my inner feelings and desires. After 15 or so minutes I feel like new again.

If I had to summarize in few words what I am trying to say it's just to generally be positive. We live in times of fast change and it always seems that everything around us move with the speed of light, I know I find myself thinking that way a lot of times lately. Keeping a positive attitude towards everything that comes during the day makes me a much happier person. And at night, when I try to clean away the day it is much much easier. 

All images via Pinterest

Wishing you a positive and accomplishing week ahead!

Deco experiments #2 - Wooden pieces

Lately I have been inspired by all things woody and that might give me the smallest glimpse of inside nature.

I love the wooden boxes that carry different colored and textured throws, different candles and maybe even flower vases in them.

I also find very inspiring the below arrangement of keeping actual flower bulbs in special glasses - in this way they last much longer than normal cut flowers and are truly a very eye catching piece. I also love the fact that the flowers can be re-planted afterwards, for me to be able to do that is very important.

And last, but not least, the below image speaks peace and meditation to me. It is very important nowadays to allow ourselves to breathe for even 15/30 min per day in solitude. It is our own special moment to try to reconnect with who we really are and gain back our focus on what we should really do. 

For me, these moments are very important, and if I am able to make a special nook where I can just be for 30 min that is amazing. I am a firm believer that the space you are in, and how it looks is a true mirror of your inside world, the cleaner and cozier the better for the mind and soul. 

I like the clean and crisp arrangement of white and different nuances of cream/nude. It feels very fresh and pure, very comfy and welcoming, it looks like a true spot to reconnect.

What are your favorite colors for quite places?

What is better: dating or moving in?

Image via Pinterest

I was having a talk the other day with my girlfriend over our relations and generally how they start and evolve. It came to the point were we concluded that in our times we just don't date anymore.

I mean, I have moved with my, back then, boyfriend from the first day we decided to be together (long story to be told some other time) and she has moved with her boyfriend quite quick also.

What I did after a tiring week...

I had quite a busy and tiring week and come Friday I felt exhausted with the only wish and will to sleep. I couldn't react to any plan or idea, all I wanted to do is rest my body - and rest i did - the best thing that has happened to me. With that in mind, my only real plan for the weekend was to sleep some more, relax, read and indulge in some good coffee and sweets.

Which is in fact exactly what I did.