Monday, November 26, 2012

When do you question your job?

I got thinking this weekend, and actually for some time now, about my job, about my feelings when I am at my job or whenever I think of it.

During my entire working career I have been pretty happy with what I was doing. At my first job after around 5 years I felt a bit stuck in that place, I couldn't see the light that was supposed to take me out and I couldn't feel the pleasure that I used to. Somehow I understood that I have reached my full potential in that place and there is no more room for me to develop there so I started craving for a new spot where I could again feel joy, happiness, creativity and everything that makes you smile and talk frenetically when you job comes up.

So, as it regularly happens, I moved to a new job where I am for the last 2 years. And I have spent here really amazing moments and had the chance to meet and work with truly amazing people. This year though, I got promoted and ended collaboration with my former colleagues and started a new challenge. Enthusiastically I got all prepared for what was to come. However during this year I started to have a lot of mixed feelings regarding what I do and in general regarding my job. I have been in different moods - one day I loved what I do, the other I felt bored with no challenge, then I thought I was going to get fired for not somehow doing my job OK I have to mention this was my own mind's paranoia as my boss gave me great feedback about my work). New boss is up now and it is very early, I work remotely  and bottom line I don't know how to read him which really add up to my already existing delirium.

To spare all the extra winning I will just put here for me to see clearly what are those monsters that scare me:
The good:
- good job, I really like 70% of it, but who does 100%? For sure these people are very rare:)
- great boss so far, I feel free to work from wherever, however as long as I deliver my tasks in time and very good prepared
- I can have some free time as well to browse, document, research and even personal browsing

The bad:
- my boss's boss is new, hard to understand, he want to have all my activities etc - he is new so he wants to be in control, he wants to state his point of view - really normal attitude
- a weird feeling of unsafety for my position? where from? I always got great reviews? my paranoid mind started living on its own?
- no joy, no laughing...

I think all of these are happening because my crazy mind started living a reality where I leave in fear maybe. I know I have to clean myself of this fear and do my job as before with same joy and just be open as everything will happen for my own  good, but sometimes it's just very hard to give in and just live instead of just having my brain raging around in my head.

Is this something that is happening to others as well? Or we are all having a happy job and just keep silent of the rest? Are we at that point were we can allow ourselves to risk and brake some patterns?

1 comment:

  1. I don't think there is the perfect job... in this world. All that you can do it's to enjoy those 70% that you're talking about and see the other good points: like maybe someday you'll work for you and enjoy 99% of the activity during the day :)... And don't forget: you can always meet people who can remain in your life FOREVER at your job


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