Monologue

I am thinking of the always changing nature of the human being. Depending on our perception today we can see everything perfect and enjoy a happy, careful life and tomorrow we can have job problems and crappy friends.

How curious is this thing called perception? I sit and wonder...

We govern our lives on so called our perceptions, we make decisions of what to eat, where to go, quit the job and quit our friends but when do we actually stop and think if our perceptions are real. Or are they influenced by the society we live in? Or are they influenced by our parents beliefs, by our most close friends, by our partner? Haven't we started to love that particular movie or book just because our better half thinks it's so good?

So I wonder, what is the ratio between what we feel and what we are "induced" to feel?
I tried to rebel myself against all these patterns. Because I don't kid myself that these are ways well tracked and many before me and many after me have set foot on them and will as well. And I try to brake the historical pattern and when confronted with the situation where a reaction is needed I pause and think - is this really me or is this the weight I am carrying on my shoulders from family, friends, society? Do I really think this way or this is the easiest way for me to access existing information, existing reactions and just go with the flow and forget my true self?

Because this is happening for most of us, we take all our answers from existing sources and get to a point in life where we feel lost, where we wonder where is our life and why are we puppets in this weird play? Some of us don't even get there and just submit to the flow of life without any questions. No questions, no pain is it?

Or am I just the only one questioning?