Wednesday, November 28, 2012

When do we start judging our friends?

The story is sometimes simple sometimes complicated, mostly depending on the point in my life and my ability to stay objective when I think of it.

My best adult girlfriend is also the person that brought me and my husband together, she is very close and dear to us. In what seems a different life, she and I were very best friends, we used to go everywhere together, share every thought, do most of the things together - all in all we were pretty inseparable in an easy and relaxed kind of way and for me that was really a great period as I came across many experiences that made me see myself and my surroundings in a different light.

The story goes on with her introducing me to her cousin, my future husband to be. Almost in the same period I introduced her to one friend, is actually a lot to say like this but let's pretend, and as life brings it sometimes both  pairs clicked separately great but the 4 of us were just terrible. The 3 of us were perfect, the 4 of us were disaster so it is easy to guess who was the rotten apple of the combination.

The 2 of them moved to another country and life went on with us talking from time to time and visiting even less.

Her choice of staying with a man I hardly understood and moving with him so far away from us was the trigger to my continuous judgement. I thought I knew her and in all my possible scenarios she was never to be with him, let alone move to another country. But as reality would often have it so it happened.

They are not together anymore and to my relief and despicable self I am happy to have her back as we used to know her. However I wish she had someone now so that we could all 4 be what I always imaged best couple friends are, I wish she was here, as she remained in the foreign country and moreover I wish that her moving and her relationship would not ave shed the dust over us as it did.

These days she is here with us and we have trouble in starting a conversation so we go for the easiest way and just remember what used to be amazing between us. So my not satisfied self that is craving for those times is continuously judging her and putting on her shoulders the blame for our lost connection.

But today I stop and wonder who am I to judge my best friend? Would I have done the same thing if put in that situation for the person I was in love with? Would I have been brave enough to leave all I have and follow the man I thought was my salvation? Would I have the courage to suffer and cry for all I am leaving behind in the hope that what I will encounter will the least make up for the bits of soul that remained behind me?

I guess I will never know...

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